the carsonist project

by cale haugen

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a collaboration with carson tworrow.


released July 24, 2014



all rights reserved


cale haugen Portland, Oregon

hello! thanks for popping in for a visit. i don't really finish anything on here, but i post my song drafts & ideas. enjoy the creative process!

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Track Name: likeness
Are you afraid
tell me how to
Move on
Without turning my head
I wanna see you again
God I'm missing my good friend,
Don't want to pretend
Don't want to amend
Can you be my friend
help me grip
The things I don't understand

Pull me apart
And put me back together
I'm broken and cold
Patch the holes in my sweater
Can you erase me
Even though I'm a sharpie
On your whiteboard

But I'm hardly a man
Who's crawling
crawling crawling
I'm alone now
and I'm bawling
Luke warm, I'm with my posse
And They boss me
And my emotion, like the sea,
it tosses me.

I knew a girl
Who didn't feel right cause
she was born with
irises blue and green
but beauty isn't skin deep
Don't you know Vic?
In this age,
It lies asleep like a feline on a carpet

Do we need to blow a trumpet
Look up
Your heart is like a pure diamond,
And he likes it
you are created in his likeness
Agreed, we're fallen-

But I'm hardly a man
Who's crawling
crawling crawling
I'm alone now
and I'm bawling;
Luke warm, I'm with my posse
And They boss me
And my emotion like the sea, it tosses me.


a good day;
I layed flat on my diamond-top
counting sheep to fall asleep
before my heart stops
from a cold cup of coffee
and a blood clot
more often than not
I lit up in the parking lots

an island hop in
a tank top did me right
I quit puffing- but relapsed
before the twelfth night
and though I know
that everything will be alright
I can’t prevent myself
from feeling a little finite-

and I’m walking,
kickin mamma’s soup can
a world record straight-line
for my attention span
without God,
life’s a gambler without a plan
what good are you
and me unless He
lets us hold His hand

When we're crawling
(crawling crawling)
When I'm alone
and I'm bawling;
Luke-warm, I left my posse
Won't let them boss me
and my emotion's simply that
"He loves me".
Track Name: wholly
Before you go on
saying how much you love me,
just reconsider every moment
cause I will probably fail, see
and whether or not,
are you willing to allow
the aforementioned syllable trio
past the tip of your tongue?

before saying “I love you”
just understand that the words
are ardently embracing
a perception of the present me,
and however willingly
loving every part of me,
hopefully a 'fuller me'
you soon discover.

And I’m a multi-layered
composition of acrylics
smeared on the canvas
opaqueness of each coat
can only serve to hide my trueness
right behind each note
and imperfections lie caked
beneath the words that I wrote

It's an advantage
telling you in advance
While your hands are removing
all the bandages,
My heart, does it dance!
housed within this dilapidated old shell of a man,
You'll find the bruised heart and dismal soul, repulsive, I know

But I hope you won't be
And, while I’m not asking
you to love me perfectly,
but graciously in every part of me
So when pain, inevitably, seeps through the cracks
and you begin to look back
don't look back.

I'm not looking for a love that’s holy
but for you to simply wholly love me

Well, will your love take part in the
triune commune that’s reclaiming
I won't ask you to condone me
all my mistakes have done all the dethroning
so please if your love is the balm
and all my brokenness rests in your palm
May this beautiful theme
tell of the love that redeemed you and me.

And I'm not looking for a love
that’s holy
but for you to simply
wholly love me.
Track Name: bygone
please, sincerely
had I asked more sweetly
you might have believed me:
I asked you to leave me
and I meant completely;

this drought is permitting
hearts to continue splitting,
so this may seem befitting;
what do we keep omitting?

this house of remorse;
the choices we made had built it
this open-floorplan killed it
when walls we knocked down
became tilted
this womb of a room we lived in
a room that had left us haunted
and awfully bereft, forgot,
isolated and unwanted.

Verse 2:

your child isn't dreaming
why don't you believe me?
my thoughts almost screaming
"you live without meaning"

cut the doubt out of your sockets
close the door and lock it
teach yourself more
that God is here
he cares
and he wants it to be


almost over
or finished and smothered
Stay close to each other
like a child unto their mother
and let a bygone be a bygone
but it's by choice that we move on
so choose your emotions
or just drown in their oceans.

Verse 3:

Snowfall Intrudes into the window
little did our Drake know
that his life was in escrow
It was his time to go

To and fro to totaled
In the blink of an eye
Best friends and twins
say goodbye
Maranatha we cry.

You broke him with bruised knees
By taking his only
A day before the eve
of Christmas on the concrete

life is a good gift
Since when did we own it
Presents left unopened
In the presence he ascends


And God it was over
A three-leaf clover
Stick close to each other
Like a child to their mother
And let bygones be bygones
Our breath has no reruns
So choose your emotions
Lest you drown in their oceans.